atmosphere

your face is the night sky
I look at it in wonderment
how I get lost in it
I wish on every freckle
little stars
lighting up the dark
how I want to kiss them
I stay up late
wishing I could
taste your
atmosphere

infinity

when we die
let’s get buried by each other
so we can stretch
out past our coffins
like the roots of trees
displacing the sidewalk
in front of someone’s house
and trip them up
like we did on our morning walks
when we were more
than skin and bones
and held hands the
whole way home
let’s count the seconds
between our smallest breaths
until one of us
reaches infinity
I want people
to still envy us
after we are
no longer living

daydreams

I spend most afternoons
daydreaming of your head
nestled in the curve of my neck
for the same reason
people put so much effort in capturing
lightning in a photograph
I want to be humbled
by the loudest thing in
my world falling silent
if even for just a second

:in changing

nervously, your hands were fumbling
but still felt like feathers on my cheek
and the words you spoke were tired
trying so hard to get some rest
in a cascading wave of limbs
and breaths they weren’t satisfied
with my chest
what was once so damn easy
is tired, worn out, and hurts
just as I do

you aren't a lesson

they say you get that one
who will show you
what loss truly is
but I have met loss
I have spent nights
with it cradling my
sleepless body
I have tasted it on
the lip of a clear glass
I have made love with it
in a downtown studio apartment
I have carved it into every
bathroom stall I spent
the night praying in
please don’t be a lesson
I have already learned once before
and am still trying to recover from

after years

everyday is like the first
one I spent with her
frantic, & wondering when
I will find the perfect
moment to kiss her;
smiling like a fool
because I know she
will kiss me back
when I do
find the nerve

seashells

she digs beneath my skin
through the tormented currents
and many swarms of ferocious predators
that are hiding in the depths
yes, I call it love
because even on days
when I am spilling over
and all my demons rush to the surface
she still reaches in without a second thought
just to find seashells

where do the lonely lovers sleep?

where do the lonely lovers sleep?


oh god
I am scared
I looked at her today
held her gaze
and felt myself welling up
confused, I looked away
never has such a feeling
moved over my bones
in such a tremendous way
after she left
I remained sprawled out
on my back
my right hand tracing
the warmth her skin
had left on my bed
I thought of her eyelashes
I pictured them as butterflies
in a crowded forest
swarming around the trunk of a tree
fluttering; hiding the lively, brown bark
she blinks and they migrate
I follow
hours are gone and it is dark
her side is cold now
and I want to hear her voice
or see her eyes looking up at me
fuck
my chest is cold
where she kept her head
my hands are cold
where I kept hers
I am thinking about
the way that she walks
and how I want to
capture it in pictures
also how I need a recording of her cursing
an angel being vile feels so much like purgatory
that curl in her lips
that hiss in her breath as she sleeps
I need it all
I need to capture it in a tank
so in times like these I can inhale it all
like my last breath of air
god
her fingers and their lines
the creases and indents
I don’t know if I want to
keep my distance so I can watch
them open and close like fly traps
or use them to stir my morning coffee
she tastes like what the ocean looks like
just
so vast
so blue
honest with careless thoughts
I look at her and know
that there is not one grain of salt
underneath her changing tides
my fingers get tangled
around a piece of her hair
that got detached from her
beautiful little head
it pulls tightly against my skin
and I need it
I only wish it was her teeth
I may be too honest
and far too overwhelming
but I am fucking scared
because it is now morning
and I love her

1:12am 6/8/14

she is asleep right now
her head resting on my shoulder
and I am thinking about morning
and how far away it is
and how happy I am about that
and how badly I want to kiss her awake
but she is such a tender sleeping body
that I don’t dare to even take a deep breath
as to stir her
I will lie awake
staring at the ceiling
until the morning light fades in
feeling completely exhausted
from falling in love
with the tiredness buried
inside of my bones